Sunday, May 29, 2016

Random Thoughts Movie Review: X-Men: Apocalypse

My nerd friends and I got up early again for a movie and I have this to say: Nerds everywhere, rejoice! The latest X-Men movie is out and it's really good. 

X-Men: Apocalypse is LONG. As in 2 hours and 23 minutes long, so you might stay away from the jumbo soda if you've got a small bladder. But, it doesn't FEEL that long. It seems like it went by in a flash. If you're a superhero movie fan, GO SEE THIS MOVIE. This is pretty high praise from me because the X-Men are my favorite characters out of the Marvel Comics world, but the X-Men haven't always been my favorite superhero movies. FOX just can't make a Marvel movie the way Marvel can, until now. This one gets an A.

And now, my random thoughts during X-Men: Apocalypse  (because we all know that's what you're really here for):

Some of these might be considered spoilers, so you know, be warned.

  • Poe Dameron without his head full of lush hair and as the bad guy? Boo!
  • So THAT'S why Storm has white hair.
  • Professor Xavier looks pretty good in 80's clothes, and with a head full of lush hair.
  • I'm really obsessing over the hair.
  • Magneto as a blue-collar iron worker? Yummy. 
  • Michael Fassbender is yummy no matter what. Even in the Assassin's Creed trailer. Yummy.
  • Pay attention.
  • Oh, the 80s. I miss the clothes and hair. 
  • Jennifer Lawrence is just beautiful.  That hairstyle looks really good on her. 
  • Seriously, what's with my hair obsession today?
  • Psylocke...she gets to make out with Aaron Rodgers.
  • I love Hank McCoy. Just a nice guy. With a hairy blue problem.
  • Sansa Stark does a pretty good American accent.
  • Angel is working that 80s rock star hair.
  • I want to be Jennifer Lawrence.
  • I love Michael Fassbender (see above) but he's really too young for the role. Auschwitz was 40 years before, the character was 12 or so at Auschwitz. That would make him 52 or so. Maybe he just ages slowly....
  • Quicksilver is stealing the show again. 
  • They got Nightcrawler a Michael Jackson jacket. Sweet!
  • Stan Lee's cameo was kinda dull. 
  • Ah, he's starting to fall in love.
  • Destruction.  Mayhem.  Yada. Yada.
  • And the Professor loses that gorgeous hair. Sad day.
  • But he gets his love. I think. 
  • Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. I'm such a sap. Where are the napkins? I've got something in my eye.
  • Nightcrawler is giving Quicksilver some competition for the role of Chief Scene Stealer.
  • I can't believe they're doing it AGAIN. Every X-Men movie tells us: The good guys win because they work together. (And in this one because Sansa Stark is pretty damn scary.)
  • Psylocke sneaking away to make out with her quarterback. I would, too.
  • Ah, the gang's all togther, training with tough love from Mystique.
  • Chit chat during the world's longest credits, to watch a minute of post-credits video to get us excited for the next Wolverine movie. Like I need a clip for that. Hugh Jackman is the yummiest of all. And he's got GREAT hair.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Random Thoughts Movie Review: The Nice Guys

This week's "sermon" at Movie Church was The Nice Guys. Normally, there are four or five folks that show up for our Sunday morning movie. This time, there were just two of us, and I really feel bad for the suckers that missed this movie.

The Nice Guys clocked in at 131 minutes. Normally, I'm not a fan of non-superhero movies that run over the two-hour mark, but this one didn't FEEL long, so I'll let it slide. I didn't really think Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling would work well together, but they do. I'm not a fan of most Ryan Gosling movies, even though I concede that he is an unnaturally attractive man. I was really worried he'd bring down the quality a Russell Crowe movie usually brings, but he held his own. Ryan, well done. I apologize for doubting you. Thanks to you (and Russell, of course), I give The Nice Guys a solid A.

And now, my random thoughts while watching The Nice Guys:

  • Is that the nerdy kid from Jurassic World.
  • Ryan Gosling actually looks GOOD in 1970's clothes.
  • Russell Crowe with reading glasses? God, we're getting old.
  • It's weird watching a time before cell phones. I bet directors love it having to come up with excuses why the character's phones don't work.
  • Russell Crowe is definitely not Maximus the gladiator anymore. 
  • This movie makes 1977 seem SO LONG AGO, but I was alive in 1977, so...
  • Geez, I'm old.
  • Ryan Gosling is really good at physical comedy. 
  • This was ultimately a whodunit, and I'm not sure I understand whodunit. But I don't even care. 

Saturday, May 21, 2016

An open letter to graduating college seniors

Dear New College Graduate,

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! Graduating from college is a big freaking deal. Don't let anyone tell you it isn't. 

Now that the congratulations are out of the way...

Every year around this time, every hack writer with a blog gives new college graduates like you advice for the "real world." (If you ask me, college is just as real as the "real world," it just has a more relaxed dress code, but no one asked me.) Not to be left out, I'm going to join the prestigious (now that I'm on it) list of writers who give advice. I'm just going to do it by giving you the same advice you heard four or five (maybe even six) years ago when you graduated high school...with a few small changes.

1. Don't worry if you don't know what you want your major to be = DON'T WORRY IF THE FIRST JOB YOU TAKE ISN'T YOUR DREAM JOB

There a million majors to choose from. Same with jobs. No matter what job you're in you're going to gain work experience that can help you get the job of your dreams down the road. It may turn out that it IS your dream job and you just don't know it yet. If not, just think of it as an elective that helped broaden your horizons and even gave you a paycheck.

2. Don't change your major every semester = DON'T CHANGE JOBS EVERY SIX MONTHS

No job you get will be perfect. Maybe that first job really isn't your dream job. Stick it out for at least a year if you can. Maybe even the second job you take isn't a good fit either. Stay there for a year, too. The reason is that If you can't or won't stay with any job for at a least a year, you'll start to become HR poison. It costs a company A LOT of money to hire and train an employee. Companies want to know you're worth the time and expense. That being said, if your job absolutely hurts your soul, or if another company comes to you with a great offer, then get the hell outta there!


When you start that new job, you're going to need someone to show you the ropes. If there's an official mentoring program, join it. You need the know-how, and management likes to see that their new employees are eager to learn. Because, believe it or not, you don't actually know everything when you finish college...despite how expensive your education was. 

If your company doesn't have a mentoring program, find your own mentor. Don't look for someone "cool." Look for the person who is respected by the company president AND the company janitor. 

After you've been at the company awhile, become a mentor yourself. There will be a new employee who needs you, and management will see you're invested in the company.

There are thousands of other pieces of advice I could give, but these three are the ones that I wish I'd figured out sooner. You're obviously smart (you graduated college AND read this blog), so I have no doubt you'll figure the rest out as you go. Or by reading some other lame blogger's stuff. 

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

The blog is back!

It turns out blogging is a lot like going to the gym. If you ever stop doing it, it's really hard to start back up. So, here I am, starting back up. Breaking a mental sweat. 

And I'm already mentally I'll make this first workout an easy one by letting you know what I've been up to for the last, um, eight months. I know my tens of readers are dying to know. 

Drum roll, please.............

I have been trying to have the best social life an anti-social person can possibly tolerate. AND IT'S WORKING.

First, I found some nerds. (The intelligent human kind, not the small candy kind.) To be clear, I totally consider myself a nerd, so there's no insult or judgment when I use the term. And really, nerds are the best. They're smart, funny, and super-inclusive. And they wear the coolest novelty t-shirts.

Anyway, the nerds and I have started Movie Church. (Please don't get your knickers in a twist over that name.) It's not an actual church service, obviously. It's a weekly Sunday morning meeting at the place that welcomes everyone and where nerds tend to feel very comfortable: THE MOVIES. We catch a flick (the nerdier the better - very often a superhero flick), have some popcorn, then stand around in the lobby and discuss it for a bit. Then we go on our happy ways. For me, my happy way involves going home for a nap. 

And that's it. I've spent eight months going to the movies. Oh, and going to work of course. I'm proud to report that I recently got my 10-year service pin. But mostly I've been going to the movies.

I'll be back soon. Promise. It's an easy promise because I'm also going to start going to the actual gym again, too. There's no doubt I'll have commentary about that to share.