Saturday, April 25, 2015

I need a small business loan so that I don't have to change out of my pajamas.

Over the years I've had a few really great ideas for starting my own business. For example, if Texas ever legalizes pot, I'm going to open a 24-hour food delivery service that specializes in donuts, macaroni & cheese, and tacos and/or burritos to profit from pot users' munchies while keeping high people out of their cars and off the streets. Naturally, the company's name would be "4:20 Midnight Munchies" and the delivery vehicles would be referred to as the "Baked Mobiles." For the record, I don't smoke pot. I've never even tried it. That's just not my thing. But making money off people who do smoke pot? That could totally be my thing.

Today I've decided to open a drive-thru grocery where you call in your grocery list in advance, and then pick it up in 30 minutes at the store drive-thru window. Naturally, the company's name would be "Window Shopping". Get it? You do your shopping at the drive-thru window?  

Anyway, the idea for "Window Shopping" comes from the fact that now, like right-this-very-minute now, I need a few things from the store. But it's not worth putting on real clothes to go to the store for a few things. I'm just not one of those women who considers it acceptable to wear my pajamas at Walmart, despite the fact I bought said pajamas at Walmart. So how great would it be to just call the store and say "I need a gallon of milk, a bottle of zin, a box of Little Debbies, a package of tortillas and some raspberry chipotle jam. Be there in 30." Because, while I may have enough pride to not wear my pajamas in public, I'm not above wearing them in the car as long as I never have to actually get out of the car. I've put alot of thought into this. I consider my car, aka AIR FORCE ONE, to be an extension of my personal space. My apartment is also an extension of my personal space. So, being in my car is like being in my apartment. And being in my apartment is not the same as being out in public. Ipso facto, it's TOTALLY okay to wear my pajamas in the car. 

I've really been brainstorming on "Window Shopping" and so far I've only found one obstacle to becoming a small business owner. One fairly large obstacle. It turns out that I'm not only too lazy to get dressed to go to the store, I'm also too lazy to start my own business. 


  1. This is amazing. I would totally wear my pajamas in my car to frequent your establishment.

    1. Thanks. It's not a requirement to wear your pajamas when you drive thru, but it's recommended so that you get the full Window Shopping experience.

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