Tuesday, September 30, 2014

I discovered some comic book sexism while I was being sexist.

A friend (who shall remain anonymous) sent me the movie preview to "Playing It Cool" featuring Chris Evans as a guy who's trying to steal another guy's fiance'. The other guy just happens to be played by handsome Welsh actor Ioan Gruffudd. Actually, now that I think about it, most Welsh actors are handsome and/or beautiful. Hmmm....I'm a goddess and I'm only one quarter Welsh. Imagine if I was full-blooded Welsh...what's a step above goddess?

But I digress. As usual.

Those of you in my tens of readers who are also comic book/comic book movie fanatics like I am have probably already recognized the significance of having those two actors together in a movie. Both of those actors were in the (ridiculously bad) Fantastic Four movies! Fangirls and fanboys, rejoice!

What? You don't get it? Okay, for those of you who don't speak nerdish, my friend's quick one-line synopsis of "it's a movie where you have to decide if you root for The Human Torch or Mr. Fantastic to get the girl" pretty much covers it.

For the record when it comes to deciding who should get the girl, I said "The Human Torch can have her, because that leaves Mr. Yumtastic for me." My friend said "I'm definitely The Human Torch type", so my friend claimed dibs on HotBoy. Then we decided it would be awesome to double date with our superhero studmuffins.

But I digress, AGAIN.

This movie has The Human Torch trying to steal Mr. Fantastic's girlfriend (who thankfully is not also Torchy's sister, as she would be if this was really the Fantastic Four.)

SIDENOTE: I realize (with pride) that my nerd friends TOTALLY understand that last convoluted sentence. I also realize my non-nerd friends probably stopped reading after the second sentence of this post. Whatever.

This ALSO is where I realized the Fantastic Four had some very subtle sexism as I went through some stream-of-consciousness fangirl ADD (try to keep up):

"If my friend and I are double dating with The Human Torch and Mr. Fantastic, then that leaves Sue Storm stuck with The Thing....why do all the guys have superhero names but Sue Storm is just Sue Storm... she doesn't get a cool name...probably because she's a girl and comic book writers are guys...wait, they called her the Invisible Girl....still pretty sexist...or at the very least condescending....then she got to be the Invisible Woman, but that was YEARS later...and they totally treated her like a 1950's housewife instead of a badass...the guys had cool names from the beginning...geez, even Sue Storm hits the glass ceiling...ironic, since she totally can blend in with it..."

So, to bring us back to my point, I was getting pretty ticked at the sexism in The Fantastic Four names while simultaneously dreaming about a double date with "Mr. Yumtastic" and "HotBoy". Today I'm the pot. Tomorrow, I'll probably be the kettle. It doesn't matter either way, I look fabulous in black.