Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Another day with the cubicle ninja ladies

Once upon a time, one of our student workers wrote a paper asserting that people don't only find fulfillment in their jobs because of the work they do, but also from the people they do the work with. No truer words have ever been spoken.

I may have mentioned before that my workspace is not just "my" workspace. I work in a room full of cubicles and other women. I refer to us as the "cubicle ninja ladies (CNL)."  (Technically, there's also one man in an office attached to our cubicle room; a man who I'm pretty sure mostly wishes he could be anywhere else.) Anyway, when we're at full capacity, there are eight women in the room at once. And as you can imagine, the conversations are interesting, to say the least.

(picture by user Nemo on

Lately, the conversation has revolved around *Shoshanna and her recent foray into the world of online dating. (Actually, it's probably more accurate to call it "phone app" dating. I think she's been using Tinder.) Shoshanna is the life of the cubicle room. She's that kind of person who finds the humor in every situation, so she keeps us laughing all day long. Anyway, Shoshanna has been looking for her Mr. Right and it's been very entertaining for the rest of us.

Shoshanna's already found a few guys that she's texted or Skyped with to get to know them from more than just their pictures. And she's already found reasons why they're not her Mr. Right. It's turned into a group activity for Shoshanna to tell us why she's turning the latest guy down and for the cubicle ninja ladies to give our two cents' worth. The most recent three guys that got the thumbs down from Shoshanna elicited these conversations:

Shoshanna: He's cute in the pictures where he's wearing a cap. But he's not cute without a cap.

 Me: Really, Shoshanna? 

Phoebe: Wow, you're so picky.

Brooke: Just make him wear a cap to bed.


Shoshanna: "I think he's still with his baby mama."

CNL: {general murmurs of disgust}

 Me: "Okay, that's a legitimate reason to stay away from him.

Rachel: "He's still with his baby mama? I can't..I just...I can't..."  (Actually, I'm not entirely sure that Rachel said this in this PARTICULAR conversation, but it's what she says when she has to deal with stupidity, so there's a pretty good chance she said it. There's also a chance she said "Bless his heart" which anyone from Texas knows is NOT a compliment.)


Shoshanna:  (Talking about how she and the dude look relative to their ages. He looked much older than he really is.) "I'm pretty and he's not pretty. He doesn't look like me so I don't like him."

Phoebe: "You don't like him because he doesn't look like you? That's how genocide starts."

I love my cubicle ninja ladies.

*Names have been changed to protect the, um, innocent. The, um, innocent specifically requested to be called these names. (Except Phoebe. She wasn't around, so I had to assign her alias. All I could think of was "Princess Consuela Banana Hammock" from Friends. Since that was Phoebe's line in the episode, I decided to go with Phoebe.) There will be future stories, I'm sure, that include the rest of the CNL crew: Leah, Poodle and Kami.

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