Tuesday, March 11, 2014

I am a freaking humanitarian. Practically a saint.

Mother Teresa. Mahatma Gandhi. Nelson Mandela. Me.

Great humanitarians, one and all.

I know, I know. You're thinking, "Shelley, what on Earth could you have in common with those great people?"

Well, in addition to being exceptionally humble, I, like all those benevolent souls, value and protect human lives. I just go about it a little differently.

You may recall that we experienced the horror of Daylight Savings Time last weekend. Humanity has brought many evils upon itself...global warming, terrorism, Justin Bieber...but no evil of our own making is worse than Daylight Savings Time and losing an hour of sleep, because we all know we really lose more than an hour of sleep. And if you know me, you know I value the importance of life and sleep. Not necessarily in that order.

So this year, I was prepared. I put a plan in place to combat the effects of DST. Simply stated, I was focused on PREVENTION. On Sunday night, I made enough dinner to have leftovers for Monday night, so that I didn't spend all day Monday being exhausted from DST and also dreading having to go to the grocery store or cook after work. I also brought FOUR Diet Cokes and TWO Route 44 teas to work on Monday so that I would never come down off the caffeine high long enough to rip someone's head off due to sleep-loss-related crankiness. 

Those two simple steps were all it took to prevent me from strangling someone yesterday. Those two simple steps SAVED LIVES.

I'm a freaking humanitarian.


  1. You so are. There should be an award. Or at least a t-shirt.

    1. I LOVE the t-shirt idea. It could be like those souvenir shirts that says "my parents went to Hawaii and all I got was this t-shirt." But instead mine could say, "I didn't kill anybody today and all I got was this t-shirt." It would be easier than carrying around my Nobel Prize and would probably keep people from talking to me in public.