Friday, June 28, 2013

The Universe is Telling Me Not to Reproduce

It's a pretty well-known fact that I am not a kid person -- in the sense that I have no desire to have children and little babies make me nervous if their parents are more than 3 feet away -- not the sense that I don't like kids. I actually like kids. In small doses. And with the knowledge I get to send them home with their parents.

It's ironic then that I just got puked on by an adorable 7-month-old who I was actually offering to hold. To my credit, I didn't puke in return. But I'm pretty sure my ovaries shriveled up a little bit.

My co-worker Mary told me that's the universe's way of saying, "You're right, Shelley. You shouldn't have kids."

Thanks, universe, but you could have just sent me a text.

It felt wrong (and disgusting) to post a puke pic, so you get a monkey.

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