If you haven’t heard, I joined Bumble a few weeks ago. It’s been a humorous, sometimes-ridiculous, emotionally-exhausting, and completely-humbling experience, and you poor things have been subjected to reading about all of it.
Thank you. And bless your hearts.
With that in mind, I’m happy to report to you, the unwitting members of Team “Help Shelley Find A Man’” that I’ve been talking to a guy (who I will refer to as The Guy from now on) for the last couple of weeks.
When The Guy and I matched on Bumble, I tried to take everyone’s advice into consideration before starting the conversation. I finally went with a combination of the “Britta Approach” and the “Madison Approach.” (I gave them proper names in case you ladies want to trademark them.)
Me: Important question. Star Wars or Star Trek?
The Guy: Boba Fett is my boy!!!!
Yeah, he’ll do.
So we’ve been texting. And talking on the phone. But we haven’t met yet. He called me one evening and said “I’m bored, let’s go cruise around. You can drive if that would make you feel more comfortable.” Cruising around with music blasting is seriously one of my favorite things, but I was already in my pajamas with my make up off. Yes, it was ridiculously early in the evening for me to be in my comfies already (only about 7pm), but you gotta give a gal some warning! Frankly, even if I’d had my make up on still, I would have needed some advance notice. You know, a day or so to psyche myself up for social interaction. I’m weird. I know.
When Olivia (the little shit) found out I’d been chatting with The Guy, she was happy for me. Then started in with the questions, wanting to make sure that he isn't a creeper, hasn't acted like a creeper, won't likely turn into a creeper.
Ultimately, her advice was “MEET HIM, but do it somewhere public. You're too snarky to do well in a kidnapping.”
She’s a little shit sometimes, but she’s not wrong.
He hasn’t let me know if he plans to come or not. It was only a few hours ago, so I'm not freaking out by the lack of response just yet. See, I can be well-adjusted sometimes. Anyway I’ll let you know what he says….in Part 6.