My heart broke a little.
And then the sacker, who had clearly just been looking for a reason to talk to the cashier, who was undeniably pretty (but maybe not so smart) said, "I was just kidding. She's obviously way old enough to buy wine." Then to me, "Bet you're about my mom's age, huh?"
I said, "I'm probably older. I just look THAT good." That shut them both up.
After I pulled out of the grocery store parking lot, a little white car full of teenage kids passed me. I noticed their left tail light was out, so being the Good Samaritan that I am (don't laugh), I caught up, got beside them and gave the unofficial-but-practically-official international sign language motion for "ROLL YOUR WINDOW DOWN." We went nearly two blocks before they realized what I wanted them to do. Right about the time I had decided I should call a cop because these kids weren't intelligent enough to handle driving, I realized they were so young that they had probably NEVER RIDDEN IN A CAR WITH MANUAL WINDOWS. They probably had never listened to a cassette tape before, either. How do you get through high school and college without mixtapes? Anyway, I delivered the tail light message and the driver yelled, "Thanks! I'll go get it fixed. If I got a ticket my mom would kill me."
At that point, my heart broke the rest of the way; some for all the kids who haven't learned to properly flirt (which involves a good mixtape), and some for me. Then I got the heck on home to have a glass of that wine that some guy's mom is also old enough to buy.