Saturday, November 8, 2014

Random Thoughts Movie Review: Dracula Untold

I finally got up early enough on a Saturday to have breakfast and read a book in my pajamas for awhile and still make it to a matinee movie. Matinee movies are important for two reasons: they're less expensive and they have fewer people in the theater to piss me off. 

Anyway, today I saw Dracula Untold, which is yet another retelling of the Dracula legend. This one was pretty good (1000 times better than the Dracula TV series that was on NBC last season). The run time was one hour and 40 minutes, which was perfect. It wasn't so short that I felt like I got cheated (matinee price or not), but not so long that I was ready for it to be over, due either to reaching the end of my attention span or from me drinking the large Diet Coke.

And now, my random thoughts from Dracula Untold:


  • Before actually entering the theater, the ticket taker guy complimented me on my Star Wars-themed t-shirt.
  • Wow, Luke Evans (the guy playing Vlad the Impaler, aka Dracula) is incredibly good looking.
  • Of course he's good looking. He's Welsh. 
  • I bet his fashion model boyfriend thinks he's incredibly good looking as well.
  • Vlad's son looks really familiar.
  • Luke Evans looks alot like Dominic Cooper, but hotter.
  • Don't go in the cave. Don't go in the cave. Don't go in the....men never listen.
  • Tywin Lannister looks terrible. He looks like his breath stinks.
  • Vlad's wife must have been something like 13 when she had that kid. Well, that IS how they did things back then.
  • Luke Evans is even better looking with his shirt off. 
  • I bet his boyfriend thinks that, too.
  • Rickon Stark! Rickon Stark is Dracula's son. 
  • Woah. Dominic Cooper is playing the bad guy. His Turkish accent sucks. But he doesn't look bad with guyliner. Not bad at all.
  • I work with lots of Turkish students, so I can truly judge how bad Dominic Cooper's Turkish accent is. How cool is that?
  • Luke Evans looks good in a long dark coat. 
  • So does David Tennant, Keanu Reeves, Nathan Fillion and every other sci-fi/fantasy crush of mine.
  • The guy that calls Vlad "master"... did they mention his name? It better be Renfield. 
  • Vlad just killed 1000 men and you think it's smart to kill his wife? Moron.
  • Vlad looks good in modern clothes. He looks good, period. Healthy. How come Tywin looked like a real nightmare when he was the vampire, but Vlad looks human?
  • Nice touch to name the modern incarnation of Vlad's wife Mina. 
  • Weird to see Tywin in non-GoT clothing. Blue is a good color for him, though.
  • They totally left it open for a sequel. I'd pay to watch it. At the matinee, anyway.
  • In the bathroom after the movie, there was a mom with a toddler having a total meltdown. She told me "I knew about the 'terrible two's'. Nobody warned me about the 'throttle me three's'." 


UPDATE: Here's a picture of my awesome t-shirt that the ticket taker dude liked.






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