Noisy neighbors are the poor girl's HBO.

I have seriously slacked on the blog lately. I blame HBO. I’ve signed up for a 3-month trial package, so I’ve been watching HBO Go and HBO On Demand every spare minute. I've absolutely got to watch everything before I have to cancel because the trial price goes away and the regular price kicks in. But I’m not here to talk about HBO (even though I could write an entire post about series quality, excellent writing and how they like showing naked women but are less interested showing naked men. Unless it’s Hodor. They gave us full-frontal Hodor. Nobody needs to see full-frontal Hodor.) 

Anyway, since I’ve spent so much time watching TV lately, I’ve spent a lot of time on the couch. Which also means I’ve spent a lot of time listening to the racket coming from the living room of my next door neighbors in the apartment building. Every now and then they’ll yell something that’s funny enough to make up for all the noise they make. 

The family next door consists of a dad (who isn’t there much), a mom (who can't not yell even if she wanted to), a 4-year-old little girl...aka…Elsa (who’s actually pretty cute and sweet) and a toddler boy…aka…Demon Child (who is still not talking in full sentences, but who has a wicked low-pitched Vincent Price-style laugh that is pretty creepy to hear late at night. And since his parents don’t impose any kind of bedtime, I hear it late at night REGULARLY.) I refer to them as THE NEIGHBORS. (I know, zero points for originality.)

 

Now that you know THE NEIGHBORS, let me set a few scenes:

Scene 1: Flashback PRIOR to Disney's Frozen being available on DVD…Elsa is on the sidewalk singing what she can remember of the lyrics to “Let It Go.”   {musical notes}  LET it go. Let IT go. Let it GO-OWHOA-OH-OH.” She sang this line over and over and over.  But then the DVD came out, so NOW she knows all the words, to all the songs, and all of the dialogue of the whole movie. I’ve never actually seen Frozen, but I know most of it just from listening to her through the walls. (And I totally want to build a snowman.)

Scene 2: Demon Child is kicking the wall. Over and over. I go next door and let the mom know he’s  kicking hard enough to rattle the pictures on my walls. She turns around and tells the kid to stop kicking the walls or “I’m going to let this lady take you away.”(Clearly she’s making empty threats since the Universe has told me to never have [or take away] children.) He burst into tears. And then he proceeded to start kicking the wall again. And he laughed the Demon Child laugh the whole time. (FYI: I doubled my renter’s insurance after that.)

Scene 3: Mom is singing “Let It Go” from Frozen. Elsa interrupts her with, “Mom. MOM! Stop, you’re ruining it!”  I kinda like Elsa.

Scene 4: Demon Child yells “YEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW!” And then I hear a loud crash. (I tripled my renter’s insurance after Hop-a-long Demon Child.)

Scene 5: Mom tells Demon Child “NO!” He apparently has never heard that word before because he cried for FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT after she said it. 

Scene 6: Moms YELLS at Demon Child to “USE YOUR INDOOR VOICE!” 

Hmmm. It really loses some of the humor in the telling. Oh well, clearly THE NEIGHBORS’ dialogue doesn’t compare with the scripts on HBO, but it certainly is entertainment that’s less expensive than a premium cable package. And on the good side, it also doesn’t involve Hodor’s package either. 

p.s. Admit it, some of you are disappointed I didn't add a Hodor pic. Cheeky buggers.